that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
