Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
