ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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