We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
