i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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