i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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