...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's official drugs can't kill me
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
