So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Randomize
