i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
