I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
