I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
