he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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