i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
