remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
