I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
