Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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