And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
