I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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