Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY