I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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