Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator