Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
