He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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