Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
