We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
