D3 body, D1 cock
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
