i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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