he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
