Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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