I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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