I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
