You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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