Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
