My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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