There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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