he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
