I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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