My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
