Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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