Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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