you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
