Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
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I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I FOUND THE LEGS
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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