it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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