i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
