in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
