Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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