just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
