i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
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