So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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