He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
