Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
