Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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