butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
