did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
