Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I have demons in me.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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