she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I am available for nakedness
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
