Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
