felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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