just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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