margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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