That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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