After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
