Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
