He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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