I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
