Her vagina should come with caution tape.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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