Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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