the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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