could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
