My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
