billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
