Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm too high and old for this...
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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