I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
