He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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