well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
