That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
