I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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