I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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