she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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